Hereditary Titles, Fading Democracies, & The Elusive Quest for Enduring Rights & Freedoms

MONARCHIES & HEREDITARY TITLES; TWO-BIT DICTATORSHIPS; FADING DEMOCRACIES; & THE SEEMINGLY ELUSIVE QUEST FOR EQUALITY AND TRULY ACCOUNTABLE INSTITUTIONS OF STATE

PICTURE A SETTING. LET'S SAY A FEW DECADES AGO: VISUALIZE A PLUSH INTERIOR & EXTERIOR: NOW YOU HAVE APPROXIMATED THE IMAGINED SETTING AT "NAIRALAND, AFRICA" - HILLTOP ESTATE, AT DUSK.

Austin’s maternal grandparents sit in their respective favorite chairs in the massive media room with the huge television set playing in the background, showing some local and international news. Chief Yemi Odeku Aremu frowns as he reads a copy of Austin’s newly launched MAGAZINE, TORCH INTERNATIONAL. And Bonita’s expression does not change as she reviews a copy of Austin’s other publication being launched at the same time called THE COMMUNITY ADVOCATE. Both publications are a long time coming, as both grandparents were kept in the loop as Austin labored night and day to make this a reality. So, with a sense of pride, they savor the brainchild of their grandson. The phone rings. Bonita picks it up

BONITA: Hello. (She listens a bit) Yes, Chief, we saw it this morning. Okay. He’s here. Hold on (She covers the mouthpiece) It’s High Chief Akindele calling from Newsstand Agencies

CHIEF YEMI: I’ll pick the other extension (He picks up the extension closer to him and Bonita remains on the other extension) Good morning my chief He listens a bit I read it earlier and I’m just reading the other publication Listens some more. Of course. Listens some more I appreciate your reaching out to me. Yours is, I think, the eleventh call I already received on the publications. Your wise counsel is always most valued. Yes, I heard that the radical television channel is going to do a special feature on the two publications--- Today? He listens a bit Oh, it’s 4? And it’s coming up in about 5 minutes? I see. Thanks for letting us know. We’ll talk later He drops the phone on its cradle, and Bonita does the same Honey, change the TV to channel 4.

BONITA: I think you have the remote

CHIEF YEMI: (Looks around him and finds it) Oh yeah, it’s here. He applies the remote and the channel changes to 4 About 5 minutes later, both Bonita and Chief Yemi sit quietly and watch with rapt attention as the host of the controversial panel show begins.

On the tv screen the over dramatic Television Host comes on as the show begins

TELEVISION HOST: Step aside NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE and TIME MAGAZINE. Your days may be numbered AFRICAN CONCORD MAGAZINE, and LAGOS WEEKEND NEWSPAPER. (TELEVISION Host continues)T: Yes, I said it. Greetings to all our viewers. I’m your host, BABYFACE OMOYEMI FIKAYO. Based on the contents of the first edition, if they keep this up, THE TORCH INTERNATIONAL and THE COMMUNITY ADVOCATE QUARTERLY, published by MOUNTAINMAN ENTERPRISES- these 2 publications have the potential to be the most important publications in a generation. Today, I have a panel of two distinguished professors to help us with the discussion of the inaugural edition. Welcome to the show Professor JINGO and Professor OGUNPA. The topic today is the article entitled TRADITIONAL BLOODLINE RULERS AROUND THE WORLD, AND THEIR PRIVATE EMPIRES - AFRICA AS A CASE STUDY published in both inaugural editions.

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: (Smiles. Nods) Happy to be hear

PROFESSOR JINGO: Glad to be on the show

TELEVISION HOST: Professors, you’d agree that the focus of this main article is of some prominence right now. Brandishing a copy of the publication, the host begins to quote sections of it:- This article does not mince words at all. It came out guns blazing. The very second paragraph says and I quote: “in their collective institutional ineptitude, previously respected proponents of our hallowed traditional institutions shamelessly connived with some politicians and other social rogues who were moonlighting as political leaders of thought in order to milk the country’s economy dry. It is therefore more imperative to ask the obvious question; do traditional rulers have any meaningful role to play in contemporary, post monarchical, post feudal civil society predicated on the altruistic notion of individual equality?” What are your respective thoughts on that opening salvo?

PROFESSOR JINGO: I think the publication frames the question perfectly TELEVISION HOST And you, Professor Ogunpa

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: I think the publishers are agents of a foreign power intent on portraying our culture and heritage in a bad light PROFESSOR JINGO Seriously? You mean asking legitimate questions that some of us raise privately is inspired by racism, or by some foreign power?

TELEVISION HOST: Okay, what do you feel about the section of the article that asks a simple question, quote: “doesn’t the notion of blue blood anywhere- run counter to the basic tenet of conceptual social contract that concedes that indeed all men and women are created equal?

TELEVISION HOST: And at the present time, very few of the traditional rulers, especially in Africa, are contributing in any meaningful way to national amity. It can never be overstated that democratic aspirations and the presumptuousness of feudal oligarchy are essentially incompatible.” - What do you say?

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: But you omit the crucial part that helps to make my point about the foreign conspiracy Pulls own copy closer Here they mock us by derisively asking a rhetorical question - quote- ”And patronizing Westerners still claim they cannot fathom why we so called crude Africans and Nairalanders cannot feed, much less govern ourselves”- That is unacceptable Glares

PROFESSOR JINGO: But you have to read the whole thing in context. The author’s main thesis in my view is in the next paragraph and I quote: “A case is not being made for the abandonment of a nation’s valued cultural heritage. However, to suggest that the chaotic and acrimonious vestiges of Africa’s current political life are the lasting legacies of our forefathers, is to insult their fond memory. To their credit, they fashioned the appropriate power sharing arrangement that suited the particular age and time. It Is time to speak up or put up with the cultural distortions making the rounds and emanating from high places.

PROFESSOR JINGO: Institutions that will not enhance the prestige or aspirations of a society should be jettisoned or modified to suit the times. Redundant traditional institutions should either be restructured to fulfill meaningful social services, or cast into the sea of obsolescence” Chuckles Now how can anyone seriously criticize that salutary vision? Those are patriotic and proud afro centric aspirations! Not that there’s anything wrong with having a certain outdated point of view, but in a classic ‘hold my bear moment’ Professor Ogunpa would not be deterred

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: But the publication’s real bias is revealed when it says, and I quote: “it is regrettable that some of the more recently appointed traditional rulers were either previous political hacks with enough money to persuade naïve and corruptible kingmakers of their birth-rights; or well-meaning political simpletons who lack the imagination necessary for deft management that most traditional stools now require. We can embrace progressive trends around the world, or we could choose to remain marooned in apathy and ineptitude by the sheer colossus of self-righteous ignorance that can no longer wash. The kings and their horsemen heard their loudest hurrah ages ago. The last delicate sojourn of their heirs through this new age must be negotiated without further swagger. The age of bloodline hegemony suffers an incurable comatose.” (He puts down the publication and glares directly at the camera) Such audacity!

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: How dare they declare an important aspect of our tradition to be in incurable comatose!

TELEVISION HOST: But aren’t the publishers really trying to improve social amity, political participation and public accountability? I mean, don’t you come to that same conclusion when you read, and I quote: “the tribal wars are over. A real danger to Nairaland and Africa’s unity has not only been the kleptomaniac tendencies of some political jezebels, but also the supercilious extremist elements whose delusions and visual illusions continue to compel them to interfere unjustly with the fair operation of the ballot box”?

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: Well, I don’t

PROFESSOR JINGO: Come on Professor. Let’s be intellectually honest for once. Are they lying when they say, and I quote: “open season had been declared on traditional rulers; and they were present, almost like giddy and politically naïve teeny-bopper cheerleaders to declare the event open. Instead of helping to reduce some of our oral literature into transmissible written forms or developing our rich herbs into more acceptable and accessible forms of preventing and curing diseases with demonstrated tests, some of our traditional rulers spend more time humbling their high office by begging for government contracts and jostling for status in jurisdictions they could never hope to influence or lead.”

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: But Professor Jingo, they’re wrong when they state that, and I quote:

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: “to vouchsafe that traditional rulers no longer rule is not a significant revelation. In the pursuit of contemporary power, a Nairaland toddler of today would rather aspire to a military command post in Jaji, than be anointed crown prince of Ile-Oluji” For one thing, as far as I’m concerned, their very title as Traditional Rulers help to prove my point that they still rule their communities.

TELEVISION HOST: Now tell me Professor Ogunpa, wouldn’t it be true as they wrote that, quote: “As long as our traditional institutions remain substantially unresponsive to the current dismal socio-political conditions of our people, and true representative democracy eventually arrives and thrives throughout the continent notwithstanding their apathy, indifference, or proactive hostility, we see no viable future for the institution of traditional rulers” ?

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: Well, it depends Demurs

PROFESSOR JINGO: Listen to yourself trying to defend the indefensible. It is true it will take a lot to get to the promised land of true equality and a truly representative democracy, but as they wrote near the end of the article, quote: “For now, traditional institutions continue to cling to our consciousness like shadows with no real substance.

PROFESSOR JINGO: They may always be at our heels until a less tolerant generation allows the light of modernity to shine and reveal their irrelevance in a vastly changed world. Now that we probably need them the most as buffer against intermittent ruthless military dictatorships and devastatingly corrupt political organizations that litter the Continent, they make the most discreet phantom seem like a recalcitrant pest” !!!- I could not have said it better myself TELEVISION HOST It seems that we’ve run out of time today

PROFESSOR OGUNPA: Just one final rejoinder if I may. Anyone who doesn’t know should keep in mind that the founder, executive editor and publisher of these two publications is a Nairaland American citizen with a white American father who is rumored to have worked for the AMERICAN CIA before he was killed in Beirut Lebanon sometime in 1983. Perhaps this publisher was being financed and secretly sent here to pretend he is truly one of us and to help destroy us from the inside. We must resist their plot and expose them for who they are. His name is Austin Words-worthy, the grandson of High Chief Yemi Odeku AREMU!!! But this time, we should all let Mr. Words-worthy know that he and his racist and very condescending words are not worthy of us and our rich cultural heritage.

TELEVISION HOST: Well, yeah, his father died in a Beirut bomb explosion in 1983.

TELEVISION HOST: (CONT'D) But your accusation does not align with the information we have about the Publisher’s motives for launching these two publications. Unfortunately, we seem to have run out of time in this week’s edition of “COLONIAL-MENTALITY” Again, I am your host, BABYFACE OMOYEMI FIKAYO, signing off and saying see you same time next week when we’ll have a different panel to discuss another seminal topic. Thank you and goodnight.

(A SHORT PAUSE. MOMENTS LATER- SCREEN CREDITS FOR THE SHOW as a Sampling of Fela Anikulapo’s “COLO-MENTALITY” SONG plays in the background to sign off the show as the credits come up on the television screen. A long pause, then Chief Yemi turns off the tv in evident disgust.

BONITA: The Host was fair. Besides, I think a great majority of the public will agree with many of the points Austin made in the new publication

CHIEF YEMI: You think? Glares. The dripping utter sarcasm is palpable You don’t think Austin owed me the courtesy of letting me know what he was REALLY up to, and to seek some useful guidance?

BONITA: You forget he’s a grown man able to make decisions for himself. You read it and didn’t seem to be riled up until now

CHIEF YEMI: It’s now front and center on national and international TV! Not on a volatile topic like this! Not on my watch!

BONITA: What is volatile about pushing for better institutions of state?

CHIEF YEMI: (Exasperated) The boy is calling into question the position and traditional relevance of people like me and our very family heritage! That’s what’s wrong with-it dear Bonita- my insufficiently tuned-in BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN WIFE! Barks

PICTURE THE SAME SETTING: NAIRALAND - HILLTOP ESTATE – NEXT DAY

CHIEF YEMI: Son, JUST LIKE YOU DID MANY YEARS AGO WHEN YOU WERE IN COLLEGE, your publications caused me and will no doubt cause our entire family some grief

AUSTIN: Gramps, that was not the intention. I was merely trying to help express some of the many concerns I hear from citizens all the time I ride on buses, and-

CHIEF YEMI: Frowns Alarmed You get on public buses again?

AUSTIN: I go undercover and just listen. I like to get a feel for some of their views and challenges-

CECILIA: Why? I mean, is that safe?

BONITA: Concerned. Do you take Oloye, Okoye, or some other personal security guard with you?

AUSTIN: That would defeat the whole point of being incognito Don’t worry, I’m alright

BONITA: Well, you need to be really careful. Besides, you of all people should know how unsafe those buses can be

AUSTIN: I disguise myself well, and I sometimes carry a mace, just in case.

CHIEF YEMI: Do you understand the role our family plays as one of the key custodians of our people’s culture?

AUSTIN: I hear you talk about it all the time, so I get it

CHIEF YEMI: Do you really? Honestly, I don’t think you do. You really made us look bad and you exposed yourself to some reprisal and real danger

CECILIA: And the family business, possibly to some political and financial backlash

AUSTIN: I regret any temporary inconvenience, but it was in the service of a greater good. After all, isn’t that what you all taught me growing up? To pursue the truth, and always fight for the greater good?

CECILIA: Son, at the end of the day, it’s your safety and happiness that’s top of mind for me,- for all of us

CHIEF YEMI: Is this your way of getting back at me?

AUSTIN: Get back at you for what grandpa? Looks utterly surprised CHIEF YEMI I mean, about Hope, what you went through, and the unfortunate fallout?

CECILIA: I apologized for my role

AUSTIN: And Mom, I told you no apologies necessary. I’m a grown man able to make my own decisions. Yes, I listened and followed your collective recommendations. Of course I didn’t fully agree with aspects of it. But that is another matter. Water under the bridge. Most important for me was that, knowing how much I missed my dad, I didn’t want to be an absentee father if someone was actually pregnant with what they claim is my child

CHIEF YEMI: Well, if it makes any difference, I want you to know I’m truly sorry things didn’t work out with Hope

AUSTIN: Me too gramps. Me too

CHIEF YEMI: You should know that Chief Akindele called back and cautioned me not to overreact to the publication. I guess old fogies like us are not always right, and may not always have all the current answers or the current sense of the public

BONITA: Speak for yourself, grumpy old man

CHIEF YEMI: Regarding your new publications, do you want to bring them under the First Klass Enterprises umbrella so we can have the lawyers do the relevant paperwork filing? AUSTIN Gramps, don’t take this the wrong way, but that may give future shareholders a say, or some measure of editorial interference. The two publications are my babies, and I just want to keep them separate, at least for now until a clear reputation and culture is established. CHIEF YEMI: Does this mean you’re not fully on board with the plan for you and your mother managing the family business as we agreed, pending the time you eventually assume sole control?

AUSTIN: I’m not saying that. I’m still energetic and young. So, I can still multi-task very well. I’m just trying to spread my wings a little and see where this separate project leads. And I can take all the barbs and arrows that come with what I’m trying to accomplish. In fact, keeping things separate for now will help to insulate the family’s business from any possible political or financial backlash, if any

CHIEF YEMI: Fair point. Chief Akindele said as much

BONITA: What are you really trying to accomplish, son?

AUSTIN: I’m trying to contribute, even if in a small way, to a healthy dialogue about how we can make this country, this continent, heck even the whole world, just a little better, a little fairer for the average child, woman or man. That’s all

BONITA: A lofty ambition. Your late father was like that. He would have been so proud CECILIA: Yes, he would. I miss him everyday

CHIEF YEMI: For the time-being, I am going to take some additional security measures, at least until the likely public outcry about this dies down. God forbid some violent zealot should decide to take matters into his own hand and try to harm you

AUSTIN: Don’t let’s over-react. Based on the research my staff and I did ahead of time, I think the majority of readers and listeners would agree with what we published. While that’s not the motivation, it might actually help our business’ long term bottom line. So, you’re all welcome Jokingly bows in an elaborate manner

BONITA: Actually, I thought so too

CECILIA: Maybe it’s better to be safe than sorry. Since I lost Josh, I don’t put anything pass anybody anymore.

CHIEF YEMI: Then it’s decided. On Monday, I’ll have the staff call Nairaland Security Alliance-NSA to get me an urgent quote for an expanded perimeter security plan. I’d like to include additional guard dogs, more security patrols, additional perimeter floodlights and more surveillance cameras

AUSTIN: Whatever you consider appropriate grandpa. In the meanwhile, just to make everybody comfortable, I too will add a security detail as part of some of my future undercover bus rides as appropriate.

BONITA: Anyone hungry? I had the staff prepare something special from a recipe I got from--your--ex----Emm---Emm--Hope’s grandmother

CECILIA: I am starved AUSTIN You know a growing young man needs nourishment, grandma. Even if the recipe was from my ex He says with a forced laugh

BONITA: You’ve lost some weight since the divorce. Are you eating?

AUSTIN: I don’t play with my stomach. My Chef is excellent. Actually, I would benefit by losing about ten pounds BONITA No, that’d be unhealthy

CECILIA: Affectionately touching his face and stomach Maybe a couple of pounds, if you must. But don’t overdo it

***PS: Beyond the dramatization of a collection of conversations and some written commentaries, the referenced print publications I edited and published traversed some of the same issues, but they operated in a slightly different context a few decades ago. The details of the topical article referenced here were in fact written and published (almost verbatim) in one of my books- THE MILITARY FRANCHISE (1993), which at the time received uniform critical acclaim, even as some powerful people bristled at the seeming takedown of those referenced institutions. ***